I wanted to know if it was going to rain
So I asked Google, instead of using my brain
To open my eyes and put my hand out the window
And look at the sky and feel the wind blow
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How do I get to Scotland from here
I asked Google maps and to my great cheer
It showed me the way avoiding the traffic
But when my phone died I was lost in a panic
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Half way up Snowdon and the fog comes down
I've lost my signal and starting to frown
I've lost all my instincts and can't read a map
I've lost the path now and in a real flap
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I need a recipe, I'll ask Google for that
Instead of asking my mum or a friend or some twat
that might lead to conversation or need me to walk
But I'm too lazy for that and can't be bothered to talk
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OH god I'm hungry, could really use some grub
Hey big G I need a café or pub
As it's been so long since I knew this city
The pubs have disappeared and the culture's gone shitty
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Google gives me news that they want me to read
Along with some adverts all on my news feed
But how do they know I need drugs for my cough?
They were listening to you when your phone screen was off
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Using Google now to monitor my heart rate
It's says my blood pressures high, big tech is just great
They get my data and sell it for a big fee
To my life insurance company who charges me more money
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Went to a brothel, my friends wanted to go
I didn't do anything and my wife mustn't know
But she will know where I am, my G's logged on on her phone
Now I've lost my kids, my marriage and home
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I'd like some privacy so leave my phone on the side
My tyre blows out when I'm out on my ride
Can't buy a tyre with cash anymore
20 miles walk home and my feet are sore
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Free apps are great when they're all about you
But be careful when they know all that you do
I can assure you in this world that nothing is free
You'll pay with your freedom and autonomy
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(Written May 4th 2021)