Poem: Arseholes and Viruses

Why so salty?

“I don't believe that viruses exist”
Is a statement that really makes people pissed
“But why” I ask, is your arsehole so sandy
Come listen to me, and we'll drink some fine brandy
We'll wash that sand right out of your crack
And help get your paradigm on the right track

You were created in the image of God
Now that clue there should give you the nod
To the fact that something so nanometrically small
Couldn't cause you any disease at all
“But God's not real” I hear you say
Then let me explain it another way

Let's start with the hypothesis that viruses are real
Well that hypothesis doesn't stand, as studies reveal
That under the strictest scientific controls
Contagion theory is riddled with nothing but holes
And without contagion, there's nothing to pass
Now hand me that brandy and I'll wash out your arse

Ahh that's better, now your bumhole isn't gritty
We can continue the chat without you getting shitty
They have NEVER isolated a “virus” from a poorly dude
Then caused that same poorliness to exude
From any another dude exposed to the culprit
And that really should be the end of that bullshit

“SO WHAT'S MAKING ME SICK THE SAME TIME AS THE MISSUS”
You shout, as the sand returns, and your bum chocolate kisses
Well you eat the same food, and breathe the same air
And we all know there's toxins galore in there
Then you drink the same water, and share the same stresses
Such as your son, whose decided he's now wearing dresses

EMF's, off gassing chairs, and experiencing the same seasons
I could come up with a million reasons
Women, when sharing the same space and time
Phenomenally discover, their periods can align
Have they all caught deadly tampon disease
From a nanoparticle, drifting in a wayward sneeze

I hope you've calmed down now, and stopped shitting farts
Because this stress, you know, isn't good for your heart
And I'm not a psyop, I just understand
That its not good to walk around with an arse full of sand
Or live in great fear of an imaginary bug
So come here you daft bastard, and have a big hug